Arizona Highways

No, this has nothing to do with the magazine of that name.  It has to do with the denizens that inhabit the Loop 101 and 202, I-10, US 60, I-17, and every other multi-lane paved surface in the Valley of the Sun.  What is it that makes otherwise rational human beings completely lose all sense of logic when they get behind the wheel of a vehicle? 

Mix'n'Crash
According to a study that I just made up, 80% of all motor vehicle operators in Arizona learned to drive somewhere else.  This is a huge contributing factor to why traffic is so bad here.  Every city has their share of nasty driving habits -- NYC cabbies view sidewalks as perfectly legitimate alternate routes, Los Angelenos turn their freeways into parking lots on a daily basis, Bostonians just don't have any rules whatsoever --  but what makes other cities work is that everyone drives badly THE SAME WAY.  It might not be what they teach in Driver's Ed, but at least it's predictable because the majority of drivers in that area all learned the same bad habits from each other.  The problem in Arizona is that everyone learned different bad habits and brought them here, so there's no way to predict what anyone else is going to do.  It's a melting pot of vehicular insanity.  The transplant from Connecticut that's doing 85 in the left lane doesn't realize that the snowbird from Minnesota he's about to pass thinks it's perfectly acceptable to make a U-turn from the center lane with no notice or turn signal...

That worked out well.

Slow Drivers Keep Right
If there was just one thing that I could change about Arizona drivers as a whole, it would be this absurd habit of getting onto the freeway and immediately fanning out into every lane while all maintaining the same speed.  Why do they need to travel abreast?  I know this is still considered the Wild West by some, but this isn't the O.K. Corral... travel single file!  If you're doing 65 in the left lane, and there's a car in the center lane going 65, and another car in the right lane also matching your speed... GET BEHIND ONE OF THEM!!!  The lanes are not all the same.  They weren't set up so you could vary your view.  This may come as a shock to some, but they each have a purpose:

• The right lane is for entering/exiting the freeway.  
• The center lane is for traveling.  
• The left lane is for passing. *

Did that just blow your mind?  If so, it's my unfortunate duty to inform you that YOU are PART OF THE PROBLEM.  Yep.  But.... there is hope.  Study this photo below, learn it, live it, and you too can become an actual driver rather than just another human speed bump!

 


*NOTE:  If vehicle 1 is maintaining a consistent average speed of 65 miles per hour, and vehicle 2 has it's cruise control set to 67 miles per hour as it gradually inches past vehicle 1 on it's left, this is NOT considered "passing".  This is called "being a miserable excuse for a human as you waste the precious limited heartbeats of every person stuck in the line of vehicles behind you".